Live Music Review: NRWO

So Saturday night, Whiz and I ventured out to see the band, Nothing Rhymes With Orange at the Titanic in Coral Gables. The show consisted of three sets, 2 of which were the full band, the other being an acoustic duo featuring Carl Almasy, the lead singer, and his brother Rich Coccaro on the guitar. They played my personal favorite Nothing Rhymes With Orange song, "Love Poam," which they had not played for a long time, and even did a Billy Idol cover of "Dancing With Myself," which obviously made Jennifer, Whiz and I dance our drunk asses off.

They played a great variety of some older songs, some newer ones, and some AWESOME covers! "Kill the Vibe," "Billy the Kid," and "Just Passing Through," were awesome, and it seemed like the band was all on the same page, they looked great, sounded great, and they're all amazing guys. They venture off to New York, in the beginning of September (meaning all you crazy NYers better be out there supporting them!) and then to Europe for quite a while. I was stoked for this show, and it surpassed my expectations. Downside: after about 6 shots of Jameson, a few Whiskey and Cokes and a shitton of beer, I ended up spending way too much money, but come on! Special times call for stupid decisions!

Here are some pics from that night, and as you can tell, most of us were not too sober....

Look who decided to show up!

Rich and I:

Yeah rock n roll, ALEXI = DRUNK

Whiz and Jennifer:

Carl and I:

Choke hold for trying to make them sing "Magnolia?"

Derek, Derek, and Rich!

These guys are awesome!

Saturday Night: Nothing Rhymes With Orange

Tonight, local south Florida band, Nothing Rhymes With Orange will be playing at the Titanic in Coral Gables at about 11pm. It's going to be a great show, the bar is awesome, and basically it's going to be a kickass night.

No cover, cheap drinks, and great music. Need I say more?

The Titanic Brewery
5813 Ponce de Leon Blvd.
Miami, FL 33146

myspace.com/nrwo

Weeked Recap: Miami Style

Money $hot sure was fun... I think... Here's a pic of me and Obi in all our drunken glory...

I'm busy... no pictures please!

Me and Alain taking a rest

Obi, Alexi and Malika Conga line??

Typical:

Hey dj, turn down the music I can't hear shat!

Me and obi keep the dance party going, even when we're too drunk to really remember doing any of this

Absolutely NO heart. HAHAHAH

Identify yourselves please. WOW! did we all get the same box-hair-dye???

Me and Whiz are in LOVE at Midtown 4 Unzipped fashion show!

Token hungover, under-rested, over-partied, emo Lex shot:

Oh Shut up.

Dear Paige Elizabeth Padon, aka Lilly, aka, Pagina:

You just used me on the phone for 21 minutes while you waited for some delinquents (aka Figo) to meet you at the bar, in an effort to make you look less than dumb standing alone, most probably looking like a "working girl."

I will not tolerate this behavior anymore. And for your punishment, I would like you to call me at 8am when your class is starting telling me how shitty you feel, while I am already awake, caffeinated, and doing something productive, but without the hangover and the urge to kill myself, which I'm sure you will tell me you do.

And you now owe me 20 minutes of my life back. I don't even recall one thing we talked about in those 20 minutes. Except for you making fun of a handicapped female, which will send you straight to hell, in which there will be overly expensive drinks of Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola, which will only be served in too-strong shots. Contrary to what you are counting on, there will NOT be an open bar and lots of hot "bad boys."

Also, before I conclude, I would like to point out how you think it's funny that I am on anti-biotics and cannot drink or partake in anything besides going to work and coming straight home. And how you think my night just got "a little bit better!!" because of a Saved By The Bell marathon. I mention these things because there is nothing in the world that would make me happier than to slam back an absurd amount of Pabst Blue Ribbon while refusing to eat the hotdogs and tater tots they serve in the Trash Bar. Then, return home to lovely Greenpoint, in whichcase I would run my drunk ass upstairs, grab my skateboard, and ride it approximately 20 feet across the street to play some exhilarating rounds of skee ball, whilst refusing once more, free hotdogs.

Sidenote: Jessie Spano and Lisa Turtle have inspired my next outfit.

Nonetheless, I will remain here in this bed, loathing you and and the rest of my stupid friends in New York, until I eventually cry myself to sleep wondering why I came home in the first place, and then I will remember that some fucking retard stole my Macbook, and then I will be satisfied to know there is a burglar on the prowl in your area that is probably stealing your most prized posessions: Your Macbook, your vibrator, and Crimson. Yes-- I dragged the pussy into this. Twice.

Hope you puke from drinking for the first time tonight, and that Ryan laughs at you while it gets in your hair.

Your loving, PRETTY sidekick,
Alexi

ps. HAUUUUY

BINGO!

So last night at the request of Little Whizzle, my buddies and I went to The Standard hotel on Miami Beach to partake in a hobby of mine, Sunday Night "Not Your Grandmother's Bingo." This started a while back, and I cannot believe how packed it was! I remember back in the day when people didn't really know about it and I certainly didn't have to sit on the floor because there was no more room in the lobby. But nevertheless, packed night, great music, me never winning as usual.

Until.... after a few hours of sweating due to no air conditioning, and a numb lower half of my body due to sitting on a hard floor for so long, I realized... Holy Shat!!! Bingo!

So I went up there hoping my prize would be a bar tab, or something along the lines of that. And what do they give me? The totally half naked lady gives little old me a WEEK membership to the hotel and spa! Yeah.... um.... awesome? Way better than the free "Rub N' Scrub," masage that Monte won. High Five!!

Reasons why girls hate going to bars.

Tiffany and I decided to grab a few drinks at a local bar in brooklyn last night.  It's a pretty calm, low key bar, not that busy of a place.  We find two seats at the bar and begin talking amongst ourselves.  Not two seconds later the dumbassity begins.  

And here is why girls stay home. . .

1. Fat guys with stutters that sit next to you and ask you dumb questions.  

Question #1: "Hey I have a ddddate on fffffrrrriiidddaayyyyy.  III was wondering wwwhhhhere IIII should take her?"

wow really fat man?  We really don't give a shit and telling a girl you already have a date really isn't a great tactic to get another date.

Question #2: "Have yyyyooouuuu eeever joined a dddating website like eeehhharrmony?"

So now you are basically calling me ugly and desperate.  Cool thanks!  Can I please give you my number now?  

2. Belligerent drunk morons who have oily faces and pimples that have their own fucking area code that hit on you.

Question: "So I noticed you and your friend went into the bathroom together.  What happens when two girls go to the bathroom together?"

Um first of all CREEPY!  Use your imagination retard.  What do you think we are doing wiping each others asses?

Question #2: "So like you want to slow dance to this song?"

Oh come on give me a fucking break. . . are you serious?  I'm at a bar douche fag not my eighth grade dance.  I haven't slow danced on purpose in years.  He might as well have asked me to build a model plane right there at the bar.  Could you be anymore boring??????  Where's the fat guy with the speech impediment? At least he made me laugh.

3. The desperate guy at the end of the night who clearly is just trying to get laid.

Question #1:  "Don't you want to get laid?  I'm really good in bed. I swear."

Oh wow.  Way to jump past all the other steps in a conversation.  I'm pretty sure I'm sitting at a bar not standing on a corner.  Thanks for the compliment assclown.  

Question #2: "Hey don't you think your friend should go home with me?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA  Absolutely not! And what makes you think our friends decide who we fuck?  I wouldn't wish your dick upon an AIDs infested ferret vagina.  Fuck off.

So guys, next time you are at a bar and you realized that you are one of these guys, do the female species a favor and walk yourself into the bathroom, take off your belt, and hang yourself with it.  Thanks.