Weekend's Over- BOOOO!

So this weekend was pretty awesome. After some movie nights and fun stuff like that, Whiz and I were ready to party. We went on Saturday night to a house party in the grove, where we played some fucking awesome rounds of pool beer pong on a floating table that the very talented (and very cute) Sam made! The house is huge, the pool is fun, and as soon as we got an ipod going, the party went from quiet and sober to rowdy and drunk... At least for Whiz, Sam and I! I wish I would have had some pics to show off, because
a. Whiz and I won almost every game we played
b. we were definitely THE party of the party
c. the table was at boob-level so it didn't take much to distract the opponents considering there was a waterfall running down two scantily clad chicks' chests.
d. We drank an insane amount of Yeungling + Chlorinated water
--- Which brings me to my next point of waking up with the worst fucking stomach ache ever because of all the pool water I drank. Picture this.... ball in pool, floating beer pong table, drunken splashing.... consumed. YUCK! No wonder, right?

After drinking a half of a bottle of Pepto Bismal, I was ready to celebrate the long weekend with my buddies at Bed on the beach. Yeah I know what you're thinking, but it was actually a lot of fun. Monte just got back in town, so the usual suspects piled into his car, we drank a bit at One Miami, then took a cab to the beach, which I'm really happy about.

Oh, did I mention we were already pretty obliterated by the time we got to Bed, and there was an open bar? Oh, and a bottle. Sorta like old times, I guess. Drunky-monkeys continued to drink and dance and sweat (obvs) and after the beach, Christian and I went on some brilliant adventures with the rest of the grove kids that included intoxicated skateboarding, sand bar (?), and getting kicked out of flannigans? What? I still don't really get that, but whatever.

Poor Matt just wanted his sandwich. :)

I'll skip a few hours that are probably better off staying in my fuzzy memory bank I call a brain, and here I am, still in bed, on my 2nd movie, drinking high volumes of fluids, talking to some buddies, and sorta useless. But that's ok. Tomorrow starts real life (as real as being a student can be) and lots of responsibility. Like for example, TWELVE HOURS OF BEING ON CAMPUS. Aghhh! Terrifying, I know.

Anyway, here are some pictures that I FINALLY got developed from when Jake was in Miami, and he, Christian and I went on a few adventures around the grove! Enjoy:
Photo by Jake... I'll call it... "I'm fucking exhausted... I love you but do we have to go out AGAIN?"

This is the pathway to my house... Not sure who took this though... If it's cool, probably Jake.

RIP little one:

Christian and his baby boy, Kilo

Jake smoking a joint with strawberry flavored rolling paper:

Baked. As. Hell.

The walk into the grove:

I don't know, really...

Baby Ki and my sweet kicks!

Johnny Rockets tastes sooo good after a delicious joint:

Christian is my FAVORITEEEEEEEE!!!! I love you my mexican pizza

oh and ps. JAKE IN MIAMI ROUND 2 COMING IN OCTOBER!!!!!!

Dear Paige Elizabeth Padon, aka Lilly, aka, Pagina:

You just used me on the phone for 21 minutes while you waited for some delinquents (aka Figo) to meet you at the bar, in an effort to make you look less than dumb standing alone, most probably looking like a "working girl."

I will not tolerate this behavior anymore. And for your punishment, I would like you to call me at 8am when your class is starting telling me how shitty you feel, while I am already awake, caffeinated, and doing something productive, but without the hangover and the urge to kill myself, which I'm sure you will tell me you do.

And you now owe me 20 minutes of my life back. I don't even recall one thing we talked about in those 20 minutes. Except for you making fun of a handicapped female, which will send you straight to hell, in which there will be overly expensive drinks of Jack Daniels and Coca-Cola, which will only be served in too-strong shots. Contrary to what you are counting on, there will NOT be an open bar and lots of hot "bad boys."

Also, before I conclude, I would like to point out how you think it's funny that I am on anti-biotics and cannot drink or partake in anything besides going to work and coming straight home. And how you think my night just got "a little bit better!!" because of a Saved By The Bell marathon. I mention these things because there is nothing in the world that would make me happier than to slam back an absurd amount of Pabst Blue Ribbon while refusing to eat the hotdogs and tater tots they serve in the Trash Bar. Then, return home to lovely Greenpoint, in whichcase I would run my drunk ass upstairs, grab my skateboard, and ride it approximately 20 feet across the street to play some exhilarating rounds of skee ball, whilst refusing once more, free hotdogs.

Sidenote: Jessie Spano and Lisa Turtle have inspired my next outfit.

Nonetheless, I will remain here in this bed, loathing you and and the rest of my stupid friends in New York, until I eventually cry myself to sleep wondering why I came home in the first place, and then I will remember that some fucking retard stole my Macbook, and then I will be satisfied to know there is a burglar on the prowl in your area that is probably stealing your most prized posessions: Your Macbook, your vibrator, and Crimson. Yes-- I dragged the pussy into this. Twice.

Hope you puke from drinking for the first time tonight, and that Ryan laughs at you while it gets in your hair.

Your loving, PRETTY sidekick,
Alexi

ps. HAUUUUY

Ahhh what the heck. . .

So good news I finally dragged my lazy shockingly big ass for a white girl to the apple store last week and fixed my computer! Go me. As I remembered how much I love my computer I found a few new pictures that I had taken randomly in New York. So for the sake of being random here we go.

Alexi and I must have taken a wrong turn on our way to a sex store because we somehow ended up in Barnes&Noble. At first we were extremely uncomfortable. . .I mean do we have to read, what section should we pretend to hang out in? And that's when we found the book we have both been waiting for. . .




This book is a QUICK read if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

The subways in New York never fail to gross to me out . . .I mean amaze me. Besides the occasional dick being pulled out in front of you, or the fat mexican construction worker using a packed train as an excuse to rub his burrito on your back, or the disgusting gathering of the human race in general, there are a few great things about it. For instance, apparently if your name is tiffany you get a seat with your name on it.



New York City Subways making dreams come true 24/7.

And last but certaintly not least. I have discovered the new summer fashion trend. Get your pens out Cosmo and GQ. Prepare yourselves for the CALF BRACELET. Oh yes!!! It's true.. . fuck your wrists its all about your calves this season.



Don't be a douche bag people or I'll catch you. No really I will. . .I'm becoming freakishly sneaky with my iphone camera. Its a little creepy but what the heck.

Things I Miss About New York

1. Getting violated by my roomates:

2. Stealing my roomies' clothes:

3. Cheap PBR... or PBR in general:

4. Slip N Sliding using hipster sweat as lubricant!


5. Alcohol-induced cuddles:

6. Sketchy Greenpoint, BK, where my OBGYN puts posters of himself in a bowtie to entice the ladies to let him... ew... gross.


7.My family....

8. My Chef-Boy-R-Jew!:

9. My friends loving me even when I look like this:


10. Since I am the slowest walker of the group... Not seeing this everyday....


To quote my favorite band, LCD Soundsystem... "New York I love you, but you're bringing me down...."

Telluride, Colorado: The Magical Ski Town

Thursday I'm off to the most beautiful little town in the entire universe, Telluride, Colorado. Not only am I excited to see Jaelyn but I really can't wait to see the town which I only know for its snow-covered mountains, friendly locals, and amazing snowboarding. This place is the most magical, humbling city in the world. It's tiny... 2,220 people live there. From mountain village you have to get on a gondola that goes over the mountain and down the other side into town:



There's something about this town that I can't put my finger on, but it's just breath-taking. If you don't like nature, you will when you're in Telluride. If you can't enjoy a beautiful sunset, it will give you the chills. And I cannot wait to see the GREEN Telluride during the summer, which I have been hearing so much about. Jaelyn and I are going to some music festival while I'm there too. Here are some shots I took from this past winter:

The view of the sunset from Jaelyn's dad's house:

On the chair lift during winter:

Dylan, a Telluride local, and I at the coolest bar in town, The Last Dollar Saloon

Jaelyn and I at the top of a mountain:

Mountain face:

And here's the link to a facebook video of an amazing beer spill and cool shots of the view of the house im staying in!
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1005047689548&subj=10610315

Daily Douche Fag! New York City!

So I'm talking post-lunch with Jake and he tells me this story that I can't help but post as my daily douche fag. Fuck corporate pricks!!!!!
________________________
Here's the story:
i went to lunch/coffee with a friend and we were just sitting at penn station on a bench and this homeless man started playing with us and playing like peekaboo. like a really nice cute homeless man. no harm at all. so we gave him change

5 feet away he was asking for change from this businessman eating lunch and the businessman and some tough dude were like screaming at him and degrading him in front of everyone and making him feel like shit. like "GET A JOB FUCK YOU"

blah blah and like almost trying to fist fight him for no reason. like he was just being nice. corporate america. this homeless guy. these businessmen made the cops get him and drag him away in front of everyone
and he was like "i dont mean any harm" and it was true. he was really nice...like dancing and making kids laugh
ugh i just wanted to cry. i turned around and said to the business man can you just leave him alone
and he looked at me strange. and was like shutup

one guy was about to fist fight him and the homeless guy was like "just walk away, we dont have to do this, i didnt mean to start any fight, i just want something to eat."
________________________

That is fucked up.... When I get to NY I am bringing my camcorder and getting shit like this on film. Stay tuned.

On a Serious Note!

You know, this internship was pretty rad, here at Alma DDB and it's my second to last day so I just sent in my time sheet and my fabulously eloquent, grammar-error-free 5 page report to my department head. I really started out here clueless about how the shit I am studying in school works in the real world. Who woulda thought an unpaid internship for a mega-ad agency would teach me so much.

Honestly, this is what I have believed my whole academic life. Learning in the classroom can only get you so far. It's only half of the equation to success. UMiami's education is great. But I have such a better understanding of what I'm getting myself into now that I've seen the way it really works.

Don't get me wrong about academic environments. Besides the fact that libraries and old professors make me feel uncomfortable, unlike my closet science-nerd Pagina, I have learned a lot at UM and I'm sure she'd say the same. Really. I have: Like how to get test-extensions when you have no excuse, how to charm your professors into actually liking you as a person not by the identification number & GPA. And most importantly? How I learn best. In the morning, over-caffeinated, sitting in the back row, with one headphone in listening to music, and the other listening to the prof taking notes on my superdope mac.

But what it really boils down to is the contacts you make and how proactive you are in getting something out of opportunities like this, and what I am going to be doing in the summer in NY.

And so, Academic base + Real world experience = the world at my fingertips. Eat your heart out, lazy hipsters.

Spotlight on: Real Talent- Mega64.com

So I'm here at McShaderson's apartment... being... well... shady. And we got on the topic of showing each other funny websites and that brought me to this genius of a site, Mega64.com. I saw the funniest shit ever on that website, and if you can't appreciate this video, you will be shunned from society.

Basically these guys go around dressed as video game characters and make people feel really uncomfortable. The following is supposed to be a dude in a tetris piece costume trying to "fit" into all types of spaces. Enjoy:


But do yourself a favor and check out the Mega64.com even if you are not fortunate enough to also come to mcshaderson's house and have a seat in the cuddle wagon.

Adventures of Jake and Alexi

So Jake just left yesterday morning, and after three nights of crazy partying, one bat mitzvah, and many smokes later, I am still alive.

The most shocking thing to happen this whole weekend? I actually have a video clip on my phone of Jake saying "I love Miami," completely sober. Wow... the New Yorker digs this place. I have a feeling it may have to do with his amazing tour guide: yours truly. :)

SO while the rest of the crew was in New York falling deeper into the addiction to ice pops, Jake and I cruised around Miami calling people out as we drove by, ate an AMAZING brunch at the Raleigh Hotel during a monsoon, drank Veuve Champagne at Poplife, and smoked a lot of fucking weed. Best part of Jake leaving? I couldn't even be sad because A. I was delirious from being up all night and B. Just 9 days left till I get to New York for my obnoxious 2 month stay in BK with my buds.

Here are some shots from the weekend, courtesy of 8mts and Popness Party!

@ Money $hot:

sketchball/guido glasses:

Our couch of the night:

No pictures please!

mmmm....

Ooo. I'm so fancy:

I dont know where he puts the junk food he loves...

He tried to pay me for sexual favors but I said his money is no good here.

Drunken Air Guitar solo or gay lean?

Guilty look hahah

Sketchballs with champagne!

The End! And did I mention how Jake KILLED IT on Friday with his fucking awesome electro set from 1am til I have no idea @ ps14? So glad he came, and everyone (shocking) loved him. Jake, Miami loves you, come back soon!!! :)

Lunch time!

So Jake is on his way to Miami and I just had a silly video chat with Paige and Ryan about topics such as popsicles, sexual intercourse, and tap dancing. Yeah. My friends are cultured, I know.

Anyway, MIami, check out tomorrow night as Jake Destruction kills the stage at PS14 in downtown! I'll be there with my dancing shoes on, so if that's not reason enough to go, press the red "x" at the top of your screen to exit this blog.


Do it!

Mmmm, brains...

What Are YOU Listening To?

Shiny Toy Guns are underrated. They are fucking awesome.

Check out this video of "Starts With One," by STG:


How about some Teenagers? Here's "Homecoming" :


Here's some TV on the Radio "Staring at the Sun," :


And lastly, some MGMT.... here's the video for "Kids," :

Ham Sandwich for Brunch?

Hell no!! Not after seeing this little guy. Thanks to my dashingly handsome and charming buddy, Jose, I am pretty sure I have just completed my total transformation into a vegetarian.

So apparently, little "Cinders," was discovered by his owners to be afraid of mud. Yes, a pig that is afraid of mud. So they took a pair of boots from a Paddington Teddy Bear and put these precious piggie feet into the plastic rainboots. I mean, honestly, how fucking amazing is this? This is from Best Week Ever's blog.




Speaking of cute things, gawker.com just blogged about the "Cute epidemic," which seems to be making even the manliest men let out a little "awww!" In the manliest way possible of course. I can name on 10 fingers (which also do not like dirty things, maybe I should invest in some finger condoms) my grownass friends that have sent me links to cute kitty pics and aww-able youtube videos of cutesy bullshit.

I happen to love it. And my favorite of these websites is definitely Icanhascheezburger.com which has admittedly passed hours of my boring days at the office. I mean, really... how can you not love this:


Oh and just in case you share Cinders and my loathing of dirt, here are some finger condoms. This is my friend Fanny. She changes them hourly.


Ha I think I'd be friends with her.

Morning Time

It's so weird to me to have a 9-6 job. Waking up at 8 (meaning pressing snooze til 8:45 since I live a half mile away from work) is such an odd feeling. A year ago, 8am was the time I'd roll up to my house after the party, the afterparty, and the after-afterparty.

Yeah, it still happens on occasion (cue the image of me at Sonia's pool at 7am by myself a few months ago) but really, I could get used to this adult-sorta life. Hmm.... Weird, I know.

The next few weeks are seriously going to be amazing. Tomorrow Jake comes to Miami and djs Friday at PS14 for Loop. Then next Wednesday my internship ends, Thursday I fly to Colorado to hang out with Jaelyn, then I come home the 24th for one day.

THEN NEW YORK ON WEDNESDAY!

I have huge plans for New York. Huge. I'm not going on a 2 month vacation, my lovely readers, I am going to conquer the fucking world. So wish me luck. And for you Miami crazies, best start callin, cause before you know it, this motherfucker's gonna be in the CITY! :-)

But back to the subject of morning time, it really does feel good to wake up with 7+ hours of sleep, take a shower, grab a coffee and live the day. Yeah, I'm inside til 6, but it feels good not either a. recovering from a hangover or b. "catching up on my sleep," meaning I'll see you at 1:30pm. I never thought I'd be saying this....

Hey partyland.... I'm over you.

I've never meant it so much when I say I'd rather hang out on a rooftop in Brooklyn with some of my best friends than go to a dark smokey club and forget everything that happened the next morning. Don't get me wrong, my party days are not over. Don't panic! Just sayin, the next two months are gonna bring out a new Lex, you'll see.

Time to get back to work... I'm so fucking mature, I know. pthhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Flash Forward!

47 years down the road, meet Ms. Paige Padon-_______ <----insert last name here.



You know it's true.

Guest Blogger: Jennifer's Critique of Vampire Weekend show

I went to the Vampire Weekend show last night with my buddies Jennifer, Whitney and Christian. I asked Jennifer, a self-acclaimed music snob, to write me a little recap of the night. Here it is:

"Last night New York buzz band Vampire Weekend popped their collars a little higher in the sweltering heat of Miami Beach and played the Fillmore at the Jackie Gleason Theatre. Considering the four young men, who are being touted as one of the finest things in indie rock, cancelled their performance at South Florida's Langerado Music Festival a few days before they were about to perform back in March to play Saturday Night Live, they repeatedly claim that the Miami crowd and it's venue were the nicest they had ever encountered.

Though VW had a "rather small repertoire" and only 2 new songs, that they had written while on tour, they strummed and banged with delight for the sold out crowd who shouted and pubescently "moshed" to the dreamy tunes they'd all had grown enamored with...

blah blah blah my 5 minutes were up! gaba gaba harlem shakes were just okay...VW were awesome and better have pyrotechnics and people only over the age of 21 next time around...your mom!"

__________
Thanks Jennifer.

Now my take on the show. 90% of the "pit," crowd had braces and probably hadn't located their pre-pubescent weenies yet, so to be honest, that was a huge buzz kill for me. A few of their songs were definitely dance-worthy, but I found myself more zoned into the sexy coked up drummer and he-grows-on-you-keyboardist than the actual music, while my friends slobbered over Ezra, the frontman.

A few off-key notes and missed backup vocals isn't enough for me to say it was a BAD show... But honestly, I would have preferred to see them at Studio A, or a venue that doesn't allow 15 year old "MOSHERS," in the joint. Maybe that would have made the atmosphere better. If you've ever heard Vampire Weekend, it's easy to see why I'm hating on the mosh pit so much. Here's a taste of VW... they're fucking Piano rock, not SKA, so to all those 12 year olds at the show last night, take your stupid spaz dance elsewhere, and say Mazel Tov to your older brother, I heard he's getting Bar Mitzvahed this weekend.

"A-Punk," by Vampire Weekend:

Cool Kid Spotlight!

I came across this AWESOME FUCKING GUY when I was looking for old Misfits video clips on youtube. Apparently Simon, Paula and Randy DON'T agree with me... Check out this STUD trying to woo the judges with this beautiful ballad:


EDIT: Ok, This started off as a daily douche fag post... but after re-watching this, I take it back... This guy is fucking awesome.

My Best Friend

Is going on a hunger strike until i let her post. So let's hear it... Should we let her wilt away? Or let her contribute?

Hmm...
Until then, a tribute, cause she really is the most badass motherfucker on earth.




us as kooks:

old:


blonde:

my best friends trying to cheer me up:



I love you Jaelyn Wolf. Don't ignore me, bitch!