LA Riots!

After quite a long night of skateboarding with Christian at retarded hours, there is absolutely nothing (not even still feeling a little crappy) that can make me miss LA Riots @ The Vagabond tonight. There's no cover before 11 and $1 PBRs---- Um.... I smell shitardedness in the future... It's too bad that no matter how awful shape I am in tomorrow morning, I have to drive up with my family to Orlando for my cousins engagement party. It's going to be a lot of fun, I just hope I can take the car ride up there hahahah.... that should be interesting.

Miami, don't miss this!

Forget Laguna Beach!

This is fucking MIAMI BEACH!!!! The drama levels are a Catagory 5 and rising!

Reporting live, from my uneventful work desk, we now have a new bulletin posted by Miss. Awesome Ally herself. The drama is not slowing down anytime soon!

Yikes! Something about death threats and being "hung wet and beaten," (which is my personal favorite part, because I have no fucking idea what that means.) Somehow someone must have hacked into "She Lies," facebook account and gotten a hold of a conversation involving shit talking Miami people, plotting a hitman to *gaspppp* kill Ally, and some other bullshit about selling her soul to get even.

I'm sorry to say it but the only thing that there is to get even with would be stealing Jorge's Cancer Thunder, missy! But at least if, hypothetically, she were to sell her soul like she says she would, it would be an uncancerous, benign soul!

Oh shat, here come to comments, let the games begin...

http://bulletins.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&authorID=9886015&messageID=6054136004&MyToken=e9461090-052a-4317-b0c4-4ae4b3466102

Faking Cancer?

Ok, so this is fucked up as hell.... Here's my first Scene News Gossip story... YEAH I SAID IT, WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU CALL IT?
Ally's story:
i am no longer friends with kimberly wiggins

she is a fraud

all of you know that i was her roommate and we did everything together
and i helped her through everything
and i knew her better than anyone else
so believe me when i say you all have been lied to

she is NOT sick. in any way shape or form. the only type of sickness she has is in the head.

her pill bottles had no labels
the 'injections' she took (but never let me see her take) are NO WHERE to be found in that apt
she NEVER let me go to the drs with her
someone who has cancer does NOT further injure their body with mass amounts of drugs and alcohol (which MANY of you saw her do..im sorry someone can NOT do that much cocaine and be dying of cancer and STILL be alive right now!)
and she told me not to speak about her 'illness' infront of her parents bc they couldnt cope
there is not one hospital record in that house that says she has cancer!
BULLSHIT
im sorry i ever defended her and to all of you good people who warned me i should of listened sooner

every single word out of her mouth is a LIE

i am very much upset and livid about this. bc not only did i defend her- i introduced her to many good people and treated her like my own flesh and blood.

i am back to going out solo. no more mini-me's will i be bringing out. this is why i do NOT have girlfriends. you have to be pretty fucking SICK in the head to make this shit up.

take all this information for what its worth. make your own assumptions. but i know many of you have questioned this. and come to me with questions. and if youre hearing this from me im not sure what better source you can get it from.

ive questioned this for a few weeks now and i finally got the answers i needed to prove my theory.

any document she is claiming to get is FALSE and either photoshopped or not her file and switched to say her name.

i created your reputation kim and now im going to do everything in my power to destroy it you sick twisted fuck.

Kim's response:
ny one of you reading this who DOES NOT BELIEVE/DOUBTS what I have, give me your e-mail so I can send you DOCUMENTS.


Already talk to my mother in which are being e-mailed over at approx. 9:30am


PLEASE.

Ally's response:
i heard i needed a better title for my bulletins- so you all would open them faster (thanks thomas!)

so its only 10am and ive done a pretty good job of destroying her sick sick life

if you go back and read my first bulletin of the day you can fully understand what im talking about

so far people seemed to be shocked- yet get over it quickly and add "well this just makes way more sense"

if anyone has the number for dan one of the owners of purdy i need his #.
im pretty sure he will want the $1,000 he gave to kim for emergency surgery aka her RENT. yea and he gave it to her in cash. tisk tisk.

i should of listened to duran many many months ago when he told me to stop creating these girls to be like me and making them my prodigys bc one day they would try and take me over. well i create u and ill destroy you.

god who knew payback was so much fun!?

ps i moved outta that crazy apt this morning. back at my parents. they gave me a tank of gas my bed and ihop so far.

and you people keep calling/texting/IMing me. i can only respond so fast! gossip amongst yourself until i post another juicy bulletin

its only 10:30am i have so many more stories for you all!

My take:
Ok, so we all know our other friend, Jorge.... And if you don't, he's the most insanely funny, amazing dude in the world. He went through some shit of his own-- but get this-- HIS WAS REAL! Everyone's seen how he has acted for this past year... Now he's fine, but we all know how weak he was and how closely he had to take care of himself to get better.

And a fashion show? Which made a brilliant story, battling cancer, then coming out with this clothing line, working through the weakness and the pain, to put on this fashion show, which most everyone attended. Wow! I'm not even mad! I'm impressed!

This is, really, an insult to the people that were A. Truly there for Jorge when he was going through his own shit, and B. The people that offered their friendship to Kim. This has been something, especially going through the months with Jorge, that we all have been wondering. How does she pull weekend benders every single week, and survive, let alone with cancer? I feel like we've all kind of wondered this all along but haven't said anything. When you have cancer, you have to take care of your body to the point where even party animal, Mr. Open Bar King himself, Jorge, had to sit on the sidelines for months. Now that the truth is out, I'm surprised at how low someone can go for attention and how disrespectful someone can be to the people that have gone through this shit REALLY, and the people that have to watch their friends suffer. What. The. Fuck.

More to come, perhaps...

*Edit*
Bravo! The theme to this blog entry is definitely Anchorman's Will Ferrel's take on his dog Baxter eating a whole wheel of cheese:
"I'm not even mad! I'm impressed!" I smell an oscar... oh--- or a liar?

WRITE EXACTLY WHATS ON YOUR MIND, AND DONT CHANGE IT!
I'm tired of: living home

I am listening to: These Electric Lives

Maybe I should: keep being um, awesome?

I wish: i was anywhere but home

I have lost my respect: for hypocrites and dumb people.

I last ate: some pasta salad crap

The meaning of my display name is: my fucking name?

Love is: worth the pain

Is your hair wet? negative
Are you wearing chap stick? the taste of her cherry chap stick!!!! sorry, ADD, no.

Are you tired? im always the same.

Are you mad? yep

Are you upset? yep, when im home.

Last beverage? vitamin water essential ,duh

Last phone call? whizzy fa shizzy

**** HAVE YOU EVER ****
Dated someone twice? i guess

Been cheated on? not that i know of?

---THIS MONTH HAVE YOU---
Fallen out of love? hahahahah

Laughed until you almost cried? did i used to live with paige and tiff? yes. ok then.

Found out who your true friends and best friends were? absolutely

Is there something you want to tell someone? lots of things i'd like to tell lotsa people!

Do you think any one of your friends will repost this? probably

Who was the FIRST person to text you today? HIM

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning? ^

Favorite drink? vitamin energy waaaaaa!

Last time you talked to your mom? she's yelling something to me now but im going to pretend not to hear it. mwahaha

Where are you right now? on my bed

Favorite pie? in your face

Latest you stayed up in the past week? 4? 5? idk, someone else can answer that better than i can

What is the last thing you said aloud? i think i sang something. ha!

Last time you went to church? whats a church?

Story behind your MySpace song? xavier showed me crystal castles like 8 or 9 months ago and i heard this song and love it again.

DESCRIBE YOUR :
Wallet? green d&g which has now been taken over by figo stickers and JJ stickers cause i don't actually like the wallet

Eyes? curious

Life? spontaneous

WHAT ARE YOU:
Wearing? white tights and a grey vneck


Wanting? a phone call and for project runway to come on alreadyyyy

Listening to? crystal castles Crimewave cause i had to check my song. oh yeah and cause its the dopeshat

Smelling? cigarette

Do you remember your dreams? shockingly YES.... especially since I went away to NY... I've remembered every single one.

Back to School

So today was supposedly the first day of the rest of my life blah blah blah. Um last time I checked I didn't want to start the rest of my life at 6:30 in the god damn morning thank you very much. I'm trying not to bitch but its my nature. So not only is it the butt crack of dawn but jesus christ "my best friend" decides to make it rain. . .hard. Thanks asshole. So in my shocked and damp state of confusion and self loathing I had to get on a subway for 40 min. Oh fun!!!!!!! Almost as much fun as I have listening to my crazy Grandmother "the meems" tell me how awesome her social life is at her independent living facility. Anyways despite the rough start the rest of my day was fairly interesting. Her is a short clip of me this morning.

Ok so fine thats not me . . .whatever. And I didn't take a school bus. And my name isn't Adam Sandler. And I don't make millions of dollars making increasingly unfunny movies. WHATEVER! Gosh.

Go Education.

Yesterday.

Yesterday was easily one of the coolest days ever.

Six of my friends got inked up yesterday (pics to come) then we proceeded to drink from the early afternoon, catch the Cold War Kids show at Prospect Park, and bring SoFla party skills over to Coco66 next door for the new Default Fridays, a party started by my slutty roomie Pagina.

Here are some pics from Mr. Photog (Irvin) from going.com! He's amazing!




Ha!



More to come... we killed it yesterday. Once again, my friends are better than yours.

Myspace.

OH REALLY MYSPACE????

Are you really going to advertise to me in pig latin???



fuck

My New York Artards

I don't know what's worse... Ryan spending the whole day making these, Jake making an entire myspace album of these, or me being so entertained by them that I'm actually blogging them...

One of the many reasons why I have the best friends in the world. Captions by Jake:
At work in Midtown


Saving the Day!

Smoking

At Lotus

About to go to White Castle

On the set of the Sopranos

At Marquee

Mowing the lawn

High School Senior pic

On Vacation in Miami

In Alabama

Gettin gay!

In south beach

Chinese New Year

Prom picture

Perez Hilton

Sack

Dr. Stephen Hawking

Really.. I have the greatest friends.

I'm Hiding From Paige

Paige just embarrassed the fucking shit out of me. If you don't already know, I share a desk with my boss. She sits directly across from me. So as weird as this is, Paige tells me stories and I type back on video chat during work. Whatever, get over it.

Anyway, I started fucking with the effects, and I thought I'd get sick of them after a while, but you just can't. So I'm laughing at how retarded I look, then I start to look at Paige laughing at me, and she's even more hideuos than I am. (I just embarassingly laughed again as I typed that sentence.)

Check it out:




See? We're usually pretty. Admire us.

Daily Douche Fag! New York City!

So I'm talking post-lunch with Jake and he tells me this story that I can't help but post as my daily douche fag. Fuck corporate pricks!!!!!
________________________
Here's the story:
i went to lunch/coffee with a friend and we were just sitting at penn station on a bench and this homeless man started playing with us and playing like peekaboo. like a really nice cute homeless man. no harm at all. so we gave him change

5 feet away he was asking for change from this businessman eating lunch and the businessman and some tough dude were like screaming at him and degrading him in front of everyone and making him feel like shit. like "GET A JOB FUCK YOU"

blah blah and like almost trying to fist fight him for no reason. like he was just being nice. corporate america. this homeless guy. these businessmen made the cops get him and drag him away in front of everyone
and he was like "i dont mean any harm" and it was true. he was really nice...like dancing and making kids laugh
ugh i just wanted to cry. i turned around and said to the business man can you just leave him alone
and he looked at me strange. and was like shutup

one guy was about to fist fight him and the homeless guy was like "just walk away, we dont have to do this, i didnt mean to start any fight, i just want something to eat."
________________________

That is fucked up.... When I get to NY I am bringing my camcorder and getting shit like this on film. Stay tuned.

Best Conversation of Life

Out of the FUCKING CLEAR BLUE I SWEAR nothing provoked this comment...

Person XYZ: "Paige, I really like the word 'hence," I just haven't found the right way to use it yet."


Blank stare.

Flash Forward!

47 years down the road, meet Ms. Paige Padon-_______ <----insert last name here.



You know it's true.

Guest Blogger: Jennifer's Critique of Vampire Weekend show

I went to the Vampire Weekend show last night with my buddies Jennifer, Whitney and Christian. I asked Jennifer, a self-acclaimed music snob, to write me a little recap of the night. Here it is:

"Last night New York buzz band Vampire Weekend popped their collars a little higher in the sweltering heat of Miami Beach and played the Fillmore at the Jackie Gleason Theatre. Considering the four young men, who are being touted as one of the finest things in indie rock, cancelled their performance at South Florida's Langerado Music Festival a few days before they were about to perform back in March to play Saturday Night Live, they repeatedly claim that the Miami crowd and it's venue were the nicest they had ever encountered.

Though VW had a "rather small repertoire" and only 2 new songs, that they had written while on tour, they strummed and banged with delight for the sold out crowd who shouted and pubescently "moshed" to the dreamy tunes they'd all had grown enamored with...

blah blah blah my 5 minutes were up! gaba gaba harlem shakes were just okay...VW were awesome and better have pyrotechnics and people only over the age of 21 next time around...your mom!"

__________
Thanks Jennifer.

Now my take on the show. 90% of the "pit," crowd had braces and probably hadn't located their pre-pubescent weenies yet, so to be honest, that was a huge buzz kill for me. A few of their songs were definitely dance-worthy, but I found myself more zoned into the sexy coked up drummer and he-grows-on-you-keyboardist than the actual music, while my friends slobbered over Ezra, the frontman.

A few off-key notes and missed backup vocals isn't enough for me to say it was a BAD show... But honestly, I would have preferred to see them at Studio A, or a venue that doesn't allow 15 year old "MOSHERS," in the joint. Maybe that would have made the atmosphere better. If you've ever heard Vampire Weekend, it's easy to see why I'm hating on the mosh pit so much. Here's a taste of VW... they're fucking Piano rock, not SKA, so to all those 12 year olds at the show last night, take your stupid spaz dance elsewhere, and say Mazel Tov to your older brother, I heard he's getting Bar Mitzvahed this weekend.

"A-Punk," by Vampire Weekend:

Cool Kid Spotlight!

I came across this AWESOME FUCKING GUY when I was looking for old Misfits video clips on youtube. Apparently Simon, Paula and Randy DON'T agree with me... Check out this STUD trying to woo the judges with this beautiful ballad:


EDIT: Ok, This started off as a daily douche fag post... but after re-watching this, I take it back... This guy is fucking awesome.

My Best Friend

Is going on a hunger strike until i let her post. So let's hear it... Should we let her wilt away? Or let her contribute?

Hmm...
Until then, a tribute, cause she really is the most badass motherfucker on earth.




us as kooks:

old:


blonde:

my best friends trying to cheer me up:



I love you Jaelyn Wolf. Don't ignore me, bitch!

Super Professional Amazing Video!

Hello friends,
So last night as I was choosing what video I wanted to upload to youtube from New York, I decided it'd be so much better to just combine them all into one, because uploading takes SO long. So here is the video I made using iMovie with clips from my trip to New York in May. The music was very carefully chosen, and this literally took me a couple hours so just watch it and tell me how amazing I am.

Sidenote: yeah it's 9 minutes, but just watch it without skipping. It's pretty cool in my opinion.



Cool. Enjoy.

Bulletin Battles-- GLOBAL WARMING!

I woke up this morning to my myspace bulletins showing this:


Soooo being that my two future roommates are battling on the shitspace, I start opening them...











Wow. Never in my life have I wanted to click THIS button so badly...

Douche Fag of the Day!

Honestly, I would kick him in the jaw if my foot reached Jersey.

Do I even need to talk explain myself? Lip gloss? Chanel earrings? Go pump some more iron, douche fag.

The Giggle Loop, etc.

The following terms come from a British tv show called "The Coupling." The terms the main character, Jeff Murdock, uses, are fucking hysterical. Read a few, then watch the video clip to see what the show is actually like.

The Giggle Loop
The giggle loop is the increasing urge to laugh during a moment of solemnity or silence. Jeff's standard illustration of the giggle loop is that of stacking pint glasses in a tower; each pint representing one iteration of the loop, and the eventual fall and costly breakage representing the giggler's credibility."To know about the giggle loop, is to become part of the giggle loop."

The Sock Gap
The sock gap refers to the finite window in which socks can be safely removed during foreplay without jeopardising one's chance of obtaining penetrative sex. Jeff's advice is that socks should be removed after shoes but before trousers. "Miss it, and suddenly you’re a naked man in socks. No self respecting woman would ever let a naked man in socks do the squelchy with her."

Porn Buddies
The concept of porn buddies is introduced in the episode "Flushed" and is one of the first indications that we are dealing with a man whose perspective on life is not only different, but often externally verbalised.
While at work, Susan asks if Jeff knows Steve well, and Jeff says that they are porn buddies. Porn buddies are very close friends who have promised each other that in the event of the other's sudden death, the survivor ("... upset though they may be...") will rush over to the deceased's home and remove all of their pornography before parents or other loved ones can find it. The survivor, of course, will get to keep the porn he has retrieved. ("Your best friend's dead, but there's a bright side!")


The Giggle Loop:

Interview with DJ Jake Destruction

Describing his dj style as, "New. York. City," DJ Jake Destruction will be blowin up the Miami stage at PS14 next week, so I decided that Brains for Brunch, being a rather professional blog, should interview this talented young man to let the readers get to know the dude a little bit! Towards the end of the interview, we even let some fans throw some really challenging ones at the guy, and he took the heat, and left the interview graciously.... Check it out!


lex: Hello Jake
asshole respond!

jake:hello

lex: Welcome to the Brains for Brunch blog. Thank you for allowing us to interview you

Jake: no problem

lex: How did you get started djing

jake:I was 14 when i got turntables and some vinyl, but i didnt really "get it," so I stopped briefly. Then when i was 17 I got a pair of really nice Denon Cd decks and a cheap mixer, the store owner was like "Thats like having a mercedes benz with 40 dollar tires," I didnt care, it was whatever. So i started to spin weird experimental electronica at home when i was bored. I moved to NYC and started to go out and decided I wanted to dj again. I quickly made friends and started to get residency's at various bars/clubs.

lex: If you could describe your dj style in 4 words, what would you choose?

jake: I couldnt.

lex: ok... like... 3 words then

jake: to be honest... New York City. I would say that best describes my style

lex: ooo!

jake: because its the city that influences me the most

lex: What about the city? Sorry, if you're stoned we can do this later.

jake: no its fine. just the vibe i get

lex: right on. last question before the reader-submitted questions are thrown at you... what is one song you could hear every day of your life and not get sick of? i just ended a question with a preposition i'm a horrible journalist

jake: hmm, i dont think ill ever get sick of windowlicker by aphex twin

lex: Nice. Ok now time for some reader questions. This one is from Whitney, from coconut grove, florida!
"have u ever wanted to put a kitchen utensil in your ass?" i swear. she asked.

jake: are you serious right now?

lex: yes, i asked my friends what they would ask a world famous dj if they could, and this is what i got.

Jake: hahahhaahahaha ahahahhaahhahaah ahhahahahhhhhaaaaaa

after realizing I was serious.... he decided to respond....

lex: whitney from miami wants to know.... and i think you deserve to give your fans a response.

jake: i dont have fans. but. no. that would hurt wouldnt it?

lex: yes you do... i have gotten a lot of responses. it depends i guess if you choose the steak knife or the turkey baster

jake: ok

lex: but whatever.
this one is from obi t. from downtown miami, florida! obi wants to know, "DO U HAVE THE HIV"

jake: yes i do, and proud to share...anyone have a dirty needle?

lex: i think the homeless guy that sits in front of the UG office in LES does....

jake: sure if the UG office was in the LES, but homegirl...its in the east village.

lex: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I'm the smart one!
anwyays.
last question, thank god...
from anonymous, Coral Gables, fl: "is your coochie off to the left... or is it right?"

jake: cya

lex: thanks for your time.

Check out Jake's mix he made ESPECIALLY for the blog...all joking aside, the guy KILLS IT!!!!!!!
Listen to this shit!