Reasons why girls hate going to bars.

Tiffany and I decided to grab a few drinks at a local bar in brooklyn last night.  It's a pretty calm, low key bar, not that busy of a place.  We find two seats at the bar and begin talking amongst ourselves.  Not two seconds later the dumbassity begins.  

And here is why girls stay home. . .

1. Fat guys with stutters that sit next to you and ask you dumb questions.  

Question #1: "Hey I have a ddddate on fffffrrrriiidddaayyyyy.  III was wondering wwwhhhhere IIII should take her?"

wow really fat man?  We really don't give a shit and telling a girl you already have a date really isn't a great tactic to get another date.

Question #2: "Have yyyyooouuuu eeever joined a dddating website like eeehhharrmony?"

So now you are basically calling me ugly and desperate.  Cool thanks!  Can I please give you my number now?  

2. Belligerent drunk morons who have oily faces and pimples that have their own fucking area code that hit on you.

Question: "So I noticed you and your friend went into the bathroom together.  What happens when two girls go to the bathroom together?"

Um first of all CREEPY!  Use your imagination retard.  What do you think we are doing wiping each others asses?

Question #2: "So like you want to slow dance to this song?"

Oh come on give me a fucking break. . . are you serious?  I'm at a bar douche fag not my eighth grade dance.  I haven't slow danced on purpose in years.  He might as well have asked me to build a model plane right there at the bar.  Could you be anymore boring??????  Where's the fat guy with the speech impediment? At least he made me laugh.

3. The desperate guy at the end of the night who clearly is just trying to get laid.

Question #1:  "Don't you want to get laid?  I'm really good in bed. I swear."

Oh wow.  Way to jump past all the other steps in a conversation.  I'm pretty sure I'm sitting at a bar not standing on a corner.  Thanks for the compliment assclown.  

Question #2: "Hey don't you think your friend should go home with me?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA  Absolutely not! And what makes you think our friends decide who we fuck?  I wouldn't wish your dick upon an AIDs infested ferret vagina.  Fuck off.

So guys, next time you are at a bar and you realized that you are one of these guys, do the female species a favor and walk yourself into the bathroom, take off your belt, and hang yourself with it.  Thanks.

Daft Punk A Capella?

Fucking Awesome!


YEAUH!

Loose Change 911

This is a documentary on a 9-11 conspiracy. It's the best one I've seen. I'm sorta into it because I feel like every major event deserves questioning. As my fortune cookie says, "Ignorance and naivety are just excuses for laziness." It also has the translation for goat.. but that's besides the point.

If you haven't seen this, when you get an hour to spare, this is something everyone must see. Just to be fair, I'm posting a video that argues the other side. I am not going to state my opinion because the whole point of the documentary, as you hear the narrator say multiple times, is to make your own judgements based on scientifically proven facts.

Please. Watch this.


And to be fair here is a debate between the writers of Loose Change and some people from Popular Mechanics
Part 1:

Part 2:


You be the judge.

Things I Will Miss About Miami

Here is a list of things I will miss about Miami, as I am leaving tomorrow for Colorado, then New York for over 2 months:

The View from "the bridge," = 195


3rd street beach


My Frankie


Studio A


wake-everything-ing


Bj's perfect nipple:


cheap smokes:


Driving:


A queen size bed:


A spacious bathroom:


And my homies.. you know who you are.

I'm Hiding From Paige

Paige just embarrassed the fucking shit out of me. If you don't already know, I share a desk with my boss. She sits directly across from me. So as weird as this is, Paige tells me stories and I type back on video chat during work. Whatever, get over it.

Anyway, I started fucking with the effects, and I thought I'd get sick of them after a while, but you just can't. So I'm laughing at how retarded I look, then I start to look at Paige laughing at me, and she's even more hideuos than I am. (I just embarassingly laughed again as I typed that sentence.)

Check it out:




See? We're usually pretty. Admire us.

Telluride, Colorado: The Magical Ski Town

Thursday I'm off to the most beautiful little town in the entire universe, Telluride, Colorado. Not only am I excited to see Jaelyn but I really can't wait to see the town which I only know for its snow-covered mountains, friendly locals, and amazing snowboarding. This place is the most magical, humbling city in the world. It's tiny... 2,220 people live there. From mountain village you have to get on a gondola that goes over the mountain and down the other side into town:



There's something about this town that I can't put my finger on, but it's just breath-taking. If you don't like nature, you will when you're in Telluride. If you can't enjoy a beautiful sunset, it will give you the chills. And I cannot wait to see the GREEN Telluride during the summer, which I have been hearing so much about. Jaelyn and I are going to some music festival while I'm there too. Here are some shots I took from this past winter:

The view of the sunset from Jaelyn's dad's house:

On the chair lift during winter:

Dylan, a Telluride local, and I at the coolest bar in town, The Last Dollar Saloon

Jaelyn and I at the top of a mountain:

Mountain face:

And here's the link to a facebook video of an amazing beer spill and cool shots of the view of the house im staying in!
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1005047689548&subj=10610315

I smell a douche fag

1. rolled up jean shorts
2. wallet chain. . . what are you a gangster?
3. tall white socks with brown loafers
4. old navy shirt circa 2002
5. cool patriotic messanger bag
6. dick tracy sized wrist watch (its probably a computer watch. . .those asains are soo advanced)
7. sorry ladies I think I spot a wedding ring. . .darn
8. ewww he's walking towards me
9. SCRAM!!!!!!

Jackie Chan you are not! Go back to karate school douche fag!