Wow... Douche Fag of the Day

Ahhh what the heck. . .

So good news I finally dragged my lazy shockingly big ass for a white girl to the apple store last week and fixed my computer! Go me. As I remembered how much I love my computer I found a few new pictures that I had taken randomly in New York. So for the sake of being random here we go.

Alexi and I must have taken a wrong turn on our way to a sex store because we somehow ended up in Barnes&Noble. At first we were extremely uncomfortable. . .I mean do we have to read, what section should we pretend to hang out in? And that's when we found the book we have both been waiting for. . .




This book is a QUICK read if you know what I mean. And I think you do.

The subways in New York never fail to gross to me out . . .I mean amaze me. Besides the occasional dick being pulled out in front of you, or the fat mexican construction worker using a packed train as an excuse to rub his burrito on your back, or the disgusting gathering of the human race in general, there are a few great things about it. For instance, apparently if your name is tiffany you get a seat with your name on it.



New York City Subways making dreams come true 24/7.

And last but certaintly not least. I have discovered the new summer fashion trend. Get your pens out Cosmo and GQ. Prepare yourselves for the CALF BRACELET. Oh yes!!! It's true.. . fuck your wrists its all about your calves this season.



Don't be a douche bag people or I'll catch you. No really I will. . .I'm becoming freakishly sneaky with my iphone camera. Its a little creepy but what the heck.

How Do YOU Feel About This 1.

While some of my best friends are all shrooming at Bisco right now in Albany, I am laying in bed listening to dirty 90's grunge rock in steaming hot SoFla unable to sleep, and socially retarded at the current moment.

Random. Yes.

My New York Artards

I don't know what's worse... Ryan spending the whole day making these, Jake making an entire myspace album of these, or me being so entertained by them that I'm actually blogging them...

One of the many reasons why I have the best friends in the world. Captions by Jake:
At work in Midtown


Saving the Day!

Smoking

At Lotus

About to go to White Castle

On the set of the Sopranos

At Marquee

Mowing the lawn

High School Senior pic

On Vacation in Miami

In Alabama

Gettin gay!

In south beach

Chinese New Year

Prom picture

Perez Hilton

Sack

Dr. Stephen Hawking

Really.. I have the greatest friends.

Daily Douche Fag! New York City!

So I'm talking post-lunch with Jake and he tells me this story that I can't help but post as my daily douche fag. Fuck corporate pricks!!!!!
________________________
Here's the story:
i went to lunch/coffee with a friend and we were just sitting at penn station on a bench and this homeless man started playing with us and playing like peekaboo. like a really nice cute homeless man. no harm at all. so we gave him change

5 feet away he was asking for change from this businessman eating lunch and the businessman and some tough dude were like screaming at him and degrading him in front of everyone and making him feel like shit. like "GET A JOB FUCK YOU"

blah blah and like almost trying to fist fight him for no reason. like he was just being nice. corporate america. this homeless guy. these businessmen made the cops get him and drag him away in front of everyone
and he was like "i dont mean any harm" and it was true. he was really nice...like dancing and making kids laugh
ugh i just wanted to cry. i turned around and said to the business man can you just leave him alone
and he looked at me strange. and was like shutup

one guy was about to fist fight him and the homeless guy was like "just walk away, we dont have to do this, i didnt mean to start any fight, i just want something to eat."
________________________

That is fucked up.... When I get to NY I am bringing my camcorder and getting shit like this on film. Stay tuned.

Misfits Fiend Attacks Human!

enough said. and if you're that retarded, I am the one replying. And i'll probably get kicked off youtube for that. Don't. Care.
!

Guest Blogger: Jennifer's Critique of Vampire Weekend show

I went to the Vampire Weekend show last night with my buddies Jennifer, Whitney and Christian. I asked Jennifer, a self-acclaimed music snob, to write me a little recap of the night. Here it is:

"Last night New York buzz band Vampire Weekend popped their collars a little higher in the sweltering heat of Miami Beach and played the Fillmore at the Jackie Gleason Theatre. Considering the four young men, who are being touted as one of the finest things in indie rock, cancelled their performance at South Florida's Langerado Music Festival a few days before they were about to perform back in March to play Saturday Night Live, they repeatedly claim that the Miami crowd and it's venue were the nicest they had ever encountered.

Though VW had a "rather small repertoire" and only 2 new songs, that they had written while on tour, they strummed and banged with delight for the sold out crowd who shouted and pubescently "moshed" to the dreamy tunes they'd all had grown enamored with...

blah blah blah my 5 minutes were up! gaba gaba harlem shakes were just okay...VW were awesome and better have pyrotechnics and people only over the age of 21 next time around...your mom!"

__________
Thanks Jennifer.

Now my take on the show. 90% of the "pit," crowd had braces and probably hadn't located their pre-pubescent weenies yet, so to be honest, that was a huge buzz kill for me. A few of their songs were definitely dance-worthy, but I found myself more zoned into the sexy coked up drummer and he-grows-on-you-keyboardist than the actual music, while my friends slobbered over Ezra, the frontman.

A few off-key notes and missed backup vocals isn't enough for me to say it was a BAD show... But honestly, I would have preferred to see them at Studio A, or a venue that doesn't allow 15 year old "MOSHERS," in the joint. Maybe that would have made the atmosphere better. If you've ever heard Vampire Weekend, it's easy to see why I'm hating on the mosh pit so much. Here's a taste of VW... they're fucking Piano rock, not SKA, so to all those 12 year olds at the show last night, take your stupid spaz dance elsewhere, and say Mazel Tov to your older brother, I heard he's getting Bar Mitzvahed this weekend.

"A-Punk," by Vampire Weekend:

Cool Kid Spotlight!

I came across this AWESOME FUCKING GUY when I was looking for old Misfits video clips on youtube. Apparently Simon, Paula and Randy DON'T agree with me... Check out this STUD trying to woo the judges with this beautiful ballad:


EDIT: Ok, This started off as a daily douche fag post... but after re-watching this, I take it back... This guy is fucking awesome.

Bulletin Battles-- GLOBAL WARMING!

I woke up this morning to my myspace bulletins showing this:


Soooo being that my two future roommates are battling on the shitspace, I start opening them...











Wow. Never in my life have I wanted to click THIS button so badly...

Douche Fag of the Day!

Honestly, I would kick him in the jaw if my foot reached Jersey.

Do I even need to talk explain myself? Lip gloss? Chanel earrings? Go pump some more iron, douche fag.

Daily Douche Fag

We have a winner....



What we have here is...
1. a case of the Buddha (I Love New York 2 reference) tank top mixed with 2. the disgustingly obvious steroid muscles, 3. a splash of vodka cranberry, 4. a guido tattoo, and 5. perfectly plucked eyebrows. Over-compensating for something, are we?

This is Douche Fag #1.... Congratulations, you're a fuckin idiot.

Hello! My Name is...

Everyone! To the millions of loyal readers out there! Please welcome my co-blogger, Pagina!
Check her out at her best:














damn girl! don't hert 'em!




YEAUH!! How cute is my little cuntsicle?