Sunday, June 29, 2008
poop
What is poop made of?
About 3/4 of your average turd is made of water. Of course, this value is highly variable - the water content of diarrhea is much higher, and the amount of water in poop that has been retained (voluntarily or otherwise) is lower. Water is absorbed out of fecal material as it passes through the intestine, so the longer a turd resides inside before emerging, the drier it will be.
Of the remaining portion of the turd, about 1/3 is composed of dead bacteria. These microcorpses come from the intestinal garden of microorganisms that assist us in the digestion of our food. Another 1/3 of the turd mass is made of stuff that we find indigestible, like cellulose, for instance. This indigestible material is called "fiber," and is useful in getting the turd to move along through the intestine, perhaps because it provides traction. The remaining portion of the turd is a mixture of fats such as cholesterol, inorganic salts like phosphates, live bacteria, dead cells and mucus from the lining of the intestine, and protein.
Why does poop stink?
Poop stinks as a result of the products of bacterial action. Bacteria produce smelly, sulfur-rich organic compounds such as indole, skatole, and mercaptans, and the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that give farts their odor.
Why is poop brown?
The color comes mainly from bilirubin, a pigment that arises from the breakdown of red blood cells in the liver and bone marrow. The actual metabolic pathway of bilirubin and its byproducts in the body is very complicated, so we will simply say that a lot of it ends up in the intestine, where it is further modified by bacterial action. But the color itself comes from iron. Iron in hemoglobin in red blood cells gives blood its red color, and iron in the waste product bilirubin gives rise to its brown color.
To SmellyPoop.com
Hi,
A friend of mine just sent me the link to your website for fun. I really enjoyed the ‘Survival Guide for Taking a Dump at Work’. However, I believe that there is an error among your explanation for the color of feces. The brown color is a result of broken down red blood cells, but I don’t think that it’s a result of iron. Most of the iron that is released from the breakdown of heme is reabsorbed by cells in the bone marrow for incorporation into new red blood cells. That’s why we don’t have a large daily requirement for iron in our diets. Anyhow, what remains of the hemoglobin is then called biliverdin, which is converted into bilirubin and is excreted. This compound can build up in some people and cause jaundice. The colors of these molecules are due to their complex structures, which contain rings of carbon and nitrogen atoms. Intestinal bacteria further modify bilirubin to produce urobilinogen and stercobilinogen. If I remember correctly, the red color of blood is also due to the porphyrin ring of heme and not iron.
So, you're absolutely correct to say that it’s a complicated explanation and it has to do with the breakdown of red blood cells, but I don’t think that iron has anything to do with the brown color of poop or the red color of blood.
-ryan
Oh really BK local commercials?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Serious Post.
I need to reiterate how much I love my life right now. Haven't been this happy in... ever? After a day of basically skating and sitting on trains trying to get around to different events to do some distro jobs, and let me tell you, it was hectic... DON'T CARE. This is the place for me right now. Woah. Deep.
That is all....
That is all....
St. Marks Ink Fest
What else do six friends do on a Friday. . .get tattooed DUH! My good friends have been working in an office on St. Marks for years and their office is right across the street from a tattoo parlor. They are moving to a new office this Monday so we all decided to get tattooed before the big move.
First up Mr. Ryan (Hungover) Jones:
Next Brian "Dad":
My turn!!!!
Then Alex. . .this is the longest I have ever seen him remain silent.
Alexiiiiiiiiiiii
There is no better way to get tattooed then with all your best friends!! Friends who get tattooed together stay together. More to come I'm sure. We have already picked out our next 5 tattoos. Love you guys.
First up Mr. Ryan (Hungover) Jones:
Next Brian "Dad":
My turn!!!!
Then Alex. . .this is the longest I have ever seen him remain silent.
Alexiiiiiiiiiiii
There is no better way to get tattooed then with all your best friends!! Friends who get tattooed together stay together. More to come I'm sure. We have already picked out our next 5 tattoos. Love you guys.
Yesterday.
Yesterday was easily one of the coolest days ever.
Six of my friends got inked up yesterday (pics to come) then we proceeded to drink from the early afternoon, catch the Cold War Kids show at Prospect Park, and bring SoFla party skills over to Coco66 next door for the new Default Fridays, a party started by my slutty roomie Pagina.
Here are some pics from Mr. Photog (Irvin) from going.com! He's amazing!
Ha!
More to come... we killed it yesterday. Once again, my friends are better than yours.
Six of my friends got inked up yesterday (pics to come) then we proceeded to drink from the early afternoon, catch the Cold War Kids show at Prospect Park, and bring SoFla party skills over to Coco66 next door for the new Default Fridays, a party started by my slutty roomie Pagina.
Here are some pics from Mr. Photog (Irvin) from going.com! He's amazing!
Ha!
More to come... we killed it yesterday. Once again, my friends are better than yours.
Friday, June 27, 2008
My Friends Are Dumb
So it's my second day in New York and I've already done more than I've expected. Got a job, skated a few miles, probably hit 10 bars, seen a show, played candy land at a bar, connect four and skee ball, ate a veggie hotdog with the purchase of a $3 Stella, seen my best friend almost get worked in a mosh pit, got a tattoo, and contracted aids from the subway poles.
So fucking great.
Anyways, I wanted to let the world know how fucking retarded my friends are. I am sitting on the couch talking to Jake in iChat, when out of nowhere, I get an IM from him telling me that he likes me black and brown t-shirt...
Not on video chat....
How in the blue hell does he know I'm wearing a brown and black shirt? What the FUCK. 5 mins of freaking out continues. I convinced myself that Jake indeed is a creepster or just telepathic... then it hits me. Fucking Paige is on iChat as well telling Jake to tell me he likes my *detailed description* t-shirt. Hey Friends:
So fucking great.
Anyways, I wanted to let the world know how fucking retarded my friends are. I am sitting on the couch talking to Jake in iChat, when out of nowhere, I get an IM from him telling me that he likes me black and brown t-shirt...
Not on video chat....
How in the blue hell does he know I'm wearing a brown and black shirt? What the FUCK. 5 mins of freaking out continues. I convinced myself that Jake indeed is a creepster or just telepathic... then it hits me. Fucking Paige is on iChat as well telling Jake to tell me he likes my *detailed description* t-shirt. Hey Friends:
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
If I opened a restaurant this is what it would be like. . .
hahahahaha
And I would definitely hire Simon Rex duhhhhhhhhhhh. so hot. I can't get enough of Nick Swardson.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Nick Swardson. . . you should fight crime!
He is my favorite comedian right now. . .I have listened to this clip probably 100 times and I laugh everytime.
IT'S POOP!
IT IS? I THOUGHT IT WAS A TRAIN SET.
AWWWWW SAD.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOO GOOD
It's a good thing
It's becoming pretty clear to me that my life in New York is basically awesome. Not to toot my own horn but. . . . TOOT FUCKING TOOT. I enjoy living life in the most random way possible it keeps things interesting. So here are a few of the amazingly random things in my life.
LUNCH!!!!!
The Grey Dog is by far my favorite spot for lunch in NYC. The chicken press sandwich rivals sex. Swear. And the cookies are indescribable. I don't even want to tell anyone where it is. . .oh crap its on the god damn sign. . .oh well. . .ENJOY!!!
CLEANING
No this is not a photo shopped picture. This in fact Tiffany Bermudez cleaning a bathroom. By some grace of God she VOLUNTEERED to clean the bathroom. Keep a look out for flying pigs and Satan I suggest you buy a winter coat.
AT THE OFFICE
It's always interesting to have sexual predators as best friends. Hide your children, creepy jones is lurking in a neighborhood near you. He uses ice pops to lure your children into his cave to watch south park.
MUSIC
Went and saw the muslims at Union Pool on Friday night. Awesome band. Very chill, simple but very entertaining. Check them out, they are from California. Neat.
POLISHVILLE
This local Polish man is playing find the sausage. . .Oh look and he won. Only in New York.
GAMES
I rediscovered my love of board games . . . oh and of WINNING them too. Connect four is awesome. It seems simple and mindless but in reality its very strategic. I take gaming very seriously. . . very.
On set of our double mint commercial. Ok fine. . .so me and Ryan dress alike. So? We think its cute and it makes us look innocent. Right?
ALEXI ARRIVES TOMORROW. . .SO I THINK THIS BLOG IS GOING TO GET REAL SILLY REAL QUICK.
LUNCH!!!!!
The Grey Dog is by far my favorite spot for lunch in NYC. The chicken press sandwich rivals sex. Swear. And the cookies are indescribable. I don't even want to tell anyone where it is. . .oh crap its on the god damn sign. . .oh well. . .ENJOY!!!
CLEANING
No this is not a photo shopped picture. This in fact Tiffany Bermudez cleaning a bathroom. By some grace of God she VOLUNTEERED to clean the bathroom. Keep a look out for flying pigs and Satan I suggest you buy a winter coat.
AT THE OFFICE
It's always interesting to have sexual predators as best friends. Hide your children, creepy jones is lurking in a neighborhood near you. He uses ice pops to lure your children into his cave to watch south park.
MUSIC
Went and saw the muslims at Union Pool on Friday night. Awesome band. Very chill, simple but very entertaining. Check them out, they are from California. Neat.
POLISHVILLE
This local Polish man is playing find the sausage. . .Oh look and he won. Only in New York.
GAMES
I rediscovered my love of board games . . . oh and of WINNING them too. Connect four is awesome. It seems simple and mindless but in reality its very strategic. I take gaming very seriously. . . very.
On set of our double mint commercial. Ok fine. . .so me and Ryan dress alike. So? We think its cute and it makes us look innocent. Right?
ALEXI ARRIVES TOMORROW. . .SO I THINK THIS BLOG IS GOING TO GET REAL SILLY REAL QUICK.
FRIDAY. . .BROOKLYN. . .DANCE
Monday, June 23, 2008
New term of the week
MIME SEX:
The act of having sex while not making any noise.
Situations in which mime sex is necessary:
- older brother is sitting outside of your door (not fun for many reasons)
- boyfriend lives in a studio apartment and his walls are made out of blue tarps, not exactly sound proof
- public places
- sharing hotels rooms
- or maybe the sex just isn't that great and you don't want to lose your voice
Have fun out there kiddies and remember unprotected sex is the only kind. Live on the edge.
The act of having sex while not making any noise.
Situations in which mime sex is necessary:
- older brother is sitting outside of your door (not fun for many reasons)
- boyfriend lives in a studio apartment and his walls are made out of blue tarps, not exactly sound proof
- public places
- sharing hotels rooms
- or maybe the sex just isn't that great and you don't want to lose your voice
Have fun out there kiddies and remember unprotected sex is the only kind. Live on the edge.
Hello Monday, Hello Everyone!
Hey, I'm Jake and I run/shoot for SHOT.
I post photos there all the time and shoot with my Cannon Rebel 35mm sometimes in B&W and sometimes in color, these photos are not altered in anyway after development.
These 10 photos are some of the shots from a photoshoot I did of Daniela in Long Island City about a month ago. I was really happy to how clear they came out and the lighting, what do you think?
I post photos there all the time and shoot with my Cannon Rebel 35mm sometimes in B&W and sometimes in color, these photos are not altered in anyway after development.
These 10 photos are some of the shots from a photoshoot I did of Daniela in Long Island City about a month ago. I was really happy to how clear they came out and the lighting, what do you think?
Colorado Update!
Apologies for not blogging this weekend. I've been very busy here in Telluride, CO. It's fucking gorgeous, I can't stop smiling here. Many Manyyyyyy more pics to come! Here's the view from J's dad's house on a cliff. We were drinking amazing wine watching the sunset in the middle of the mountains. The pics don't do it justice. Unfortunately, I don't have expert photographer Jake with me here to capture the beauty better....
Me in Telluride loving life
Me in Telluride loving life
Thursday, June 19, 2008
My New York Artards
I don't know what's worse... Ryan spending the whole day making these, Jake making an entire myspace album of these, or me being so entertained by them that I'm actually blogging them...
One of the many reasons why I have the best friends in the world. Captions by Jake:
At work in Midtown
Saving the Day!
Smoking
At Lotus
About to go to White Castle
On the set of the Sopranos
At Marquee
Mowing the lawn
High School Senior pic
On Vacation in Miami
In Alabama
Gettin gay!
In south beach
Chinese New Year
Prom picture
Perez Hilton
Sack
Dr. Stephen Hawking
Really.. I have the greatest friends.
One of the many reasons why I have the best friends in the world. Captions by Jake:
At work in Midtown
Saving the Day!
Smoking
At Lotus
About to go to White Castle
On the set of the Sopranos
At Marquee
Mowing the lawn
High School Senior pic
On Vacation in Miami
In Alabama
Gettin gay!
In south beach
Chinese New Year
Prom picture
Perez Hilton
Sack
Dr. Stephen Hawking
Really.. I have the greatest friends.
Labels:
awesomeness,
Douche Bags,
ferret vagina,
Jake,
morons,
Potheads,
Retarded
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